Don't you just love it when... ...you parry his 6, and he rolls a 1? ...he parries your 5, and you roll a 6? ...you find a pack of lead Aspect Warriors (5 to a box) on clearance for five dollars? [I NOW HAVE A HOWLING BANSHEE AND FIRE DRAGON ALLY CONTINGENT!] ...your Rhino lasts the whole game? ...his asssault cannon jams... ...and yours doesn't? ...his assassin pops up... right near your Techmarine with the Vortex Grenade... ...and he fails his dodge? ...none of your squads get "Jones is acting strangely?" ...you "Reflect" a "Mind War?" ...you hit an exposed vehicle crewman? ...the guy playing Space Wolves at the next table doesn't have any Wolf Guard Terminators with Cyclone Missile Launchers, Storm Shields, and Assault Cannons? ...your commander is better painted than his entire army? ...a Genestealer loses a round of close combat? ...your Adeptus Psyker needs to roll a 6 to fight off a Daemonic Attack, and he makes it? ...his Librarian needs anything but a 1 to fight off the Daemonic Attack, and he doesn't? ...your opponent tries to teleport in a terminator squad to take advantage of that huge gap you left in front of your command group, and he rolls a snake-eyes? ...you finally succeed in hitting your enemy's commander, and he fails his storm shield, D-field, AND armor saves? ...you get the "Saved!" strategy card? ...you're the Space Marines, and he gets the "Virus Outbreak" strategy card? ...he's the Imperial Guard, and YOU get the "Virus Outbreak" strategy card? ...the guy with the Maugetar is actually Maugan-Ra? ...his "Psychic Hood" doesn't do him any good? ...his Tech-Priest with the "Graviton Gun" and "Warp Jump" deviates into base-to-base contact with your Terminator armed with lightning claws? [THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED THIS SUMMER!] ...you finally succeed in cracking a Carnifex's armor with a lascannon, and roll an 11 for wounds? [THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TOO! I'VE REPAINTED THE LASCANNON TROOPER IN VETERAN COLORS, GAVE HIM A BACK BANNER AND A PURITY SEAL!] If anybody has any more, I'd love to hear them. Pete --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: gus18620@aol.com (Gus18620) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] ...you throw a Stasis grenade and it hits both Hive Tyrants and 2 Carnifexes? ...on the first turn, your Warbike's autocannons knock out 2 marines in a 5-man squad, he fails his break test, you play Craven Cowardice, and they flee off the table? [actually happened] -Gus aka Skeltor, Spawn of the hellbeast From: isaac@mango.aloha.com (Isaac Tobin) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] Your marine commander with a power sword fights a blood thirster for 3 turns and LIVES! (actually happened). You teleport your termis accurately? And the heavy flamer covers the enemies warboss and his ogryn bodygaurds? And you have "Assasins" as your mission? (actually happened) -Isaac (isaac@aloha.com) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: guardcmdr@aol.com (Guard Cmdr) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] (Hate)...You buy dozens of guardsmen w/bolter and they remove them from your list (Love)...Your Imperial guard support squad is charged by chos marines of Khone and your guardmen kill 2 of 5 in HtH and the Khorne marines rout. (realy happened) (Love)...Your pregame battlecannon barrage kils both the Patriarch and the Magus (Love)...Your opponent is a cheddar head who subs out all the weapons on his land raider for assault cannons and they blow up the first turn (Hate)...You have a level four Inquisitor w/Prescience up and you die to Daemonic Attack from a 2 pt power. (Hate)...Your opponent plays special issue on his Swooping Hawk Exarch and gets a vortex grenade From: pas4189@tam2000.tamu.edu (Peter Andrew Siekierski) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: More don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] Don't you just love it when... ... your penal legion frenzies? ... your assassin pops up in a squad of four warp spiders? ... your assault squad engages his ratling snipers in close combat? ... all twenty of your gretchin fire at the same squad? ... your madboyz do something funny? ... your "useless" dreadnought with two power fists gets into close combat with an enemy tank? Keep 'em coming... Pete --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: vds@airmail.net (Michael Brockwell) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] In article <46e8f0$h83@news.tamu.edu>, pas4189@tam2000.tamu.edu (Peter Andrew Siekierski) wrote: >Don't you just love it when... You take vaccine squig for your orks and you opponent throws a virus grenade? You take teleport jammer and an 800 pt. terminator squad deviates off of the table? (both happened this weekend in the same battle; we also got a warp jump pack in range :-) Mike From: jetz@crow.ewd.dreo.dnd.ca (Rudi Jetzelsperger) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] In article <46e8f0$h83@news.tamu.edu>, pas4189@tam2000.tamu.edu (Peter Andrew Siekierski) says: > >Don't you just love it when... > ... your opponent teleports his terminators onto the field directly in front of your commander and cut loose with all 12 cyclone missiles, only to have them deviate back onto his terminators ? ... you're the bugs and your opponent places all his scouts 11 inches outside of your deployment zone ? ... you're the bugs and your opponent smites your Hive Tyrant ? Tom --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: kfritts@trumpet.aix.calpoly.edu (Kenneth Paul Fritts) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] (Love) ... when an Eldar player extends the jump of his 3 warpspiders and he rolls 3 6's. (Really happened. Hell of a roll if you ask me). (love) ... a buzzer squiq swarm kills a Solitare. (love) ... a terminator model gets snake eyes on its armor save roll. (love) ... a barrage actually hit and kill enemy models. (hate) ... playing against an army that has more models with heavy weapons than you have total models. (A squat thunderer army) (hate) ... having all your dreadnaughts killed to mind war. (hate) ... drawing the Destroy Daemon power with no demons in play. (love) ... drawing the vortex power. (hate) ... having the vortex power reflected back on you. (love) ... blinding the Hive Tyrant with a Photon Flash Flare. (love) ... a character has "hatred" against the Tyranids. (hate) ... the phrase "assualt cannon modification" is used to describe a vehicle on the board. (love) ... missfire / hit rolled for opponents heavy weapons for scatter. (hate) ... having rules for a squad/model yet the minature doesn't exist. (hate) ... getting Dawn Raid with a squat army. (Run squats! Run!!!!!) (love) ... 1 genestealer out of 10 live to fight and kill the enemy commander in hand to hand. (love) ... that single ork Scarboy who survied the attack from the warpspiders. (love) ... a wraithguard dies and takes another wraithguard into the warp. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] Message-ID: <1995Oct25.093609.106453@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu> From: darkwolf@falcon.cc.ukans.edu (Mr. Self Destruct) Don't you just love it when: Da zoggin phanzees jump around like woodland fairies with all of their neat tinker toys and make a whole bunch of mystical crap so you shoot da big scorpion with a shokk attack gun and he dies instantly. And when your dead 'ard goffs cut all of them in pieces with just axes. Lord Waaagh Darkwolf From: jcrookst@vt.edu (James Crookston) Newsgroups: rec.games.miniatures.warhammer Subject: Re: Don't you just love it when... [WH40K Humor] In article <46e8f0$h83@news.tamu.edu>, pas4189@tam2000.tamu.edu says... > >Don't you just love it when... When a Lord of Change tries to use Bolt of Change on your psyker from 4" away but you have Reflection and send it right back and roast his butt? This has to be the best post I've seen in while. James