Lampshade, the Chaos God of Kitch By David McNicol > There are thousands and thousands! Although some are really just powerful > independent demons, they have the ability to rais patrons. What I was saying > is that one of the lesser gods might feed of some new emotion that is more > common, and become as powerful as one of the top 4. I can see it now.. LAMPSHADE, the chaos god of kitch.. Beware as chaos champions turn dazzling pink light on your troops with the Dimmer Switches of Lampshade. Cower in fear as the Purple-shag Carpets threaden to engulf and swallow up assault troops. Curse all that is the 70's as your rank and file succumb to Cordouroy Flare and Saturday Night Fever grenades. Run for cover as the mighty horn of the Dukes of Hazard sounds a charge over the gratuitously bumpy terrain. And stand petrified as Lavalamp, the Greater Daemon of Lampshade sets the battlefield ablaze with erie green and yellow light, as Ceramic Duck squadrons rise in formation from behind the front line, as strange blue police telephones warp across the battlefield, releasing their fearsome doctors and clueless ham actors. Oh Yes! Truly the night ``The Good Life'' was screened to the populace of Taradon IV is a night to be cursed for time immemorial.... Dave. -- David McNicol - D.McNicol@strath.ac.uk - http://www.strath.ac.uk/~cabp09/ "Ha, humans!! Your superior intellects are no match for our puny weapons!!" ------------------------------ And by Pat Marstall Nooooo! The worst fears of the Eldar realized! Chaos AND poor fashion sense united! We must immediately mobilize our forces! Although our Farseers have been noting the dangerous signs for a while now (the resurgance of Disco, the brief appearance of bell-bottoms in French fashion shows...) we have been caught unaware of the magnitude of our danger and must act quickly! ....on the other hand... This will give the lesser-known Aspect Warriors a chance to see action and defend the craftworlds as they have been training to do in this phase of their life-paths: The fur-lined Mincing Minks, afraid to show their faces in the recent anti-natural-fur fracas may now proudly go forth to do battle against the polyester hoards, weilding their battle-stoles mightily. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Mincing Mink Squads 12 Points Per model Troop Type M WS BS S T W I A Ld Mincing Mink 5 4 4 3 3 1 6 1 9 Squads: A squad consists of between 3 and 7 models Weapons: Battle Stole and Laspistol Armor: Mink Aspect Armor (5+ save, additional protection vs. cold) Battle Stole Weapon Type S L S L St D Sv Pen Notes Battle Stole 0-6 6-12 +1 - 3 1 0 D6+D3+1 Close Combat, No Armor Save, Expensive The Battle Stole [Eldar: Mhkwbt] is the favored weapon of the Mincing Minks. A length of high-quality (and exceptionally expensive) fur with the preserved head of a small animal still attached, these rare weapons are made only in the Neimann-Marcus craftworld by master Taxidermy-Singers. The Battle Stole can be used in close combat, where it wraps itself around the neck of the victim, cutting off his air supply and strangling him. There is no armor save against a Battle Stole, although fields save as normal. The Battle Stole can be thrown as a bolo for a ranged attack, but this leaves the weilder empty-handed, and if the target lives, he can run off and hock the weapon at the nearest pawn shop for a substantial profit (first he must kill the Mincing Mink or he will be forever trailed by an angry, sobbing Eldar repeating "You horrible, horrible brute!") Note: Sons of GreenPeace Marines will automatically go into Frenzy if a Battle Stole is used nearby, but they will abandon their bolters in favor of bright red paint. ---------------------------------------------------------------- -Pat Marstall